I managed to find one of the greatest emails I've ever sent. I hope you all enjoy the story and have a great laugh. I know I did, after it was all said and done.
So, I pick Hunter up from school yesterday and put him in his car seat. While buckling him up, he says to me "Look Mommie, I got a rock stuck in my nose." I said, "Oh, you do" thinking he was telling stories. I decided I had better look, just in case he was telling the truth, and low and behold I could see a rock in his right nostril. Being the calm and collected person that I am, I immediately flew into a panic. I ran (well not really), walked really fast into the school to use the phone. They have a secret code on their phones that you have to enter before you can dial out. The teacher was talking to another parent and I just decided to call when I got home.
I chanted the entire trip home "keep you fingers out of your nose, do not touch your nose, do not sniff and only look at the floor." over and over and over again for the entire ten mile trip. Once home, I figured, since he was strapped down, it would be a good time to try to get it out. My pinky nails are pretty long, so I decided to stick it up his nose to get the rock out. Well, needless to say, we were unsuccessful. Hunter was screaming and waving his arms around in the air and I was yelling at him to knock it off while my finger was jammed up his nose trying to get this stupid rock out. It was quite a show.
Finally, exasperated, I said, "Well fine, I guess you'll just have to live the rest of your life with a rock in your nose." I quickly changed my mind, grabbed his head so he wouldn't move and stuck my fingernail back into his nose. Still, no luck. I took him out of the car seat and we went into the house where the search began for removal tools. I tried many, including but not limited to nail clippers, two toothpicks, my finger nail many more times and tape stuck onto the end of my finger nail.
I think the most interesting, and novel, idea I had was the vacuum cleaner. Yes, a dirt devil can be used in more than one way, you just have to find the will. So, I hooked that sucker up, put the extension on and turned that baby on high. Hunter stood about four feet from me, covering his nose and screaming that it was too loud. Unfortunately, I didn't really care. By now, I went past frantic and worried to just plain pissed. I grabbed him by his arm and maneuvered him over to my position. With Hunter now hysterical, I stuck the extension up to his nose. I'll be damned if that didn't work either. I think all I accomplished there, was later in life, counseling for Hunter on the proper use of a vacuum cleaner.
As my ideas came to a close, (keep in mind Ryan has been calling every five minutes throughout this entire ordeal to find out if I have gotten the rock out yet), Ryan calls. After all this, he informs me he has a pair of tweezers, (which I had previously looked for and he hadn't previously mentioned), in one of his little kit things in the bathroom. Without further ado, I got the tweezers, came out to Hunter who looked at me and said sobbing and weeping, "I'm sorry I put a rock in my nose Mommie." I told to him to hold still and don't move. Carefully, I inserted the tweezers into his nose and successfully removed the rock.
Noteworthy, the rock was as long as the first joint in my pointer finger.
My blood pressure will never be the same, nor will the way I look at a dirt devil.
Happy Wednesday.
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