Our First Date ~ by Heather Oster

Part One

I've been married to my husband for several years now and have enjoyed getting to know him better, growing with him and loving him more everyday.  I count myself blessed to be married to such a rock star.  Yes, I'm the comic of the two of us.  He's fairly quiet and a thinker.  While I now understand these are the traits that help define the wonderful man he is, I did not know that our first, and almost only date.

Being a single mom, and at the age I was, I figured it was over.  I was going to live in that trailer, working for the County Attorney's office for the rest of my life.  While those circumstances weren't exactly what I dreamt of as a little girl, it was life, my life.  My son was my world, my focus and my reason for getting up everyday.  We were a team.  I knew one day he'd leave, but oh how I would cherish him while I had him.  My precious little red head (same one who stuck the rock in his nose - HA!) 

Then, one late August afternoon, everything changed . . . forever.

The whole scene is frozen, in time, in my mind. 

I was standing outside the County Courthouse (just getting off work), on the corner of 2nd Street and Madison.  I was wearing a black knit, sleeveless sweater with khaki slacks and brown sandals.  The sun was shining through the trees casting much wanted shade on the ground and there was a slight breeze in the air.  It was going to be a perfect summer evening. 

Standing in front of me was Sgt. Ryan Oster of the Hamilton City Police Department.  He was dressed in full uniform wearing his trademark black sunglasses.  While, literally, rolling a rock around the ground with his work boot, and his hands in his pockets, he asked me if I'd like to get a cup of coffee sometime or go out to dinner.  He mentioned his birthday was on Saturday and said if I wanted to have dinner with him then, that would be nice.  He didn't have anything else to do that day.  Of course, I'm not going to miss celebrating someones birthday!!!  Even if I don't know them. 

Me, being the "spunky" one of the two of us, missed the cue to have compassion on this poor guy, as he was obviously nervous beyond belief, and I responded loudly and with gusto, "Why, Sgt. Oster!  Are you asking me out on a date?"  Now, not only is he uncomfortable, but beet red.  Oops - My bad.

What can I say?  I was SO excited!!  This was perfect.  A date.  With a reputably "extremely nice guy."  I was on cloud nine. 

Fast forward 3 days to Saturday, August 16th.

I am telling you I primped, curled and checked the mirror more than I ever have in my life.  I had to be perfect.  I picked out a yellow sleeveless cotton shirt, an off-white pair of shorts with those same sandals (they were my favorite and gave me an additional 3 inches).  My hair was down (very long) and slightly curled and I had full on makeup.  This is big because I normally don't wear any makeup.  I made sure every last detail of me was flawless, right down to my painted toe nails (which I don't do either). 

There was a knock at the door - right on time.  I walked over, made sure my shorts weren't all wrinkled up and my shirt was nice and neat.  Flipped my hair back, took a deep breath and opened the door with the smile I'd practiced in the mirror for the previous hour. 

There he stood, with his hands in his pockets, again.  He was wearing khaki slacks, with a dark brown belt, brown shoes and a dark blue polo shirt.  It was then that I noticed the same thing I'd noticed when he asked me out, but didn't pay it much attention. 

Hummm, that's odd, I thought.  Little did I know just how "odd" this entire evening was going to be.

Part Two

Staring at the floor and refusing to look at me, he said softly, "Are you ready to go?"  I said, "Yep!"  Off we went.  Got in his truck to headed to "The Rocky Knob", a good 45 minute drive from Hamilton.  On the way there, I was trying to get the conversation going and I was not having much luck.  Question upon question I was asking to only receive either one word or one sentence responses.  I was picking up the vibe that he wanted to be anywhere else but in this truck, with me, on our way to dinner.  It was a long ride and my fears of it being an even longer ride home would be confirmed shortly.

Finally, we got to the restaurant and went in.  We were seated at a table that was the first thing you saw when you entered the place.  This was fine with me, I didn't mind.  But, every person that walked through the door, Ryan knew and with each hello he seemed to shrink more and more into his chair.  I continued to try to get to know him by asking questions and was reaching the "bottom of the barrel" for things to talk about.  But was still receiving little response and no eye contact whatsoever.  Out of desperation, I finally said, "What's your middle name?"  Yes, this is how bad it was.  I was out.  Out of ideas, out of questions and almost out of a desire to even try.  To this, he responded, "I think its a little too soon for that sort of information." 

Really!  No way!!  Here I am, stuck just as much as he is, and wanting nothing more than to run for the door and hitch hike home.  It was then that I decided I wasn't talking anymore.  I would just take this as a free meal, a night out of the house and continue on with my life.  I was done. 

The rest of dinner was filled to the brim with uncomfortable silence.  Just the sound of chewing and the occasional "Hi" to whoever it was that walked in.  We left there and he drove up to Painted Rocks, as a side trip, before we headed home.  He asked a few questions here and there, but not enough to fill the huge void in time before I was in my own environment.  Needless to say, I was back home by 8:00 p.m..  It was the shortest and quietest date I'd ever had in my life.

He parked in front of my trailer and said nothing.  Just sat there in that uncomfortable silence we'd endured all night.  Before I got out, I handed him a birthday card I had picked up.  Inside I had previously put a coupon in labeled "good for a movie and popcorn, on me".  I didn't feel right about giving it to him because I knew this did not go well, but I wanted to be nice enough to give him a birthday card.  So, I handed it over, told him ahead of time that the coupon was in there but it was fine if he didn't use it.  I would understand and then I made a bee-line for my front door. 

I turned around when I got to the door and he was right on my tail with card in hand.  I walked in my house anyway and turned around.  He sighed and said, "I just don't know if I'm ready for all of this.  I . . ."  I interrupted him because I don't need an explanation as to what I did wrong or why this didn't go well.  I am good with, it didn't go well, good luck and God's speed.  So, I said with the best smile I could muster, "It's fine.  Thank you for the dinner.  Good night." and closed my door. 

On Monday, I went back to work and was standing at the copy machine trying to stay busy so no one would ask how the date was.  Lucky for me, he'd asked me out on a Thursday, so I had all day Friday to be all giddy over it and run my mouth.  I so hate my optimism sometimes.  I turned to head back to my desk and here comes my best friend, who said with the biggest of smiles, "Soooo, how did it go?!"  I flashed her a quick look of defeat and said, "Don't ask."  She said, "Ohhh, that bad?"  I said, "You don't want to know.  I was home by 8.  Let's put it that way." 

Talk about getting your ballooned popped.  I was so excited for this "first date" that I'd been waiting for and thought would never happen.  And now, not only had it completely sucked, but I had to tell everyone else it completely sucked.  How humbling.  How disappointing.  How I should go buy a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, watch some sappy chick-flick and eat to my hearts content! 

Monday came and went, as did Tuesday and Wednesday.  Then, Thursday night, my phone rings.  I looked at the number and thought, I know this number.  I wonder who it is.  So, I picked it up and said, "Hello?"  I'll give you one guess as to who said "Hello" back.  My heart stopped and I think every last bit of blood drained from my face.

Part Three

I asked how he was, he said fine.  Again, a one word answer.  I decided right then and there I was not going to say anything further.  I was cordial, just not going to drag stuff out of him like the other night.  After few moments of silence, he said, "I was wondering what you are doing on Saturday."  I couldn't believe my ears.  After our first and last date, he was going to ask me out again?  What is up with that? 

Well, I didn't have anything going on (besides my usual Saturday cleaning routine - and who wants to do that if you can get out of it), so I told him I was free.  He said he'd pick me up at 8:30 a.m. and we would go pick Sapphires.  I said that sounded fine, although I had no idea what it entailed as I'd never done it before.  Sure enough, he was there right on time - 8:30 a.m.  I didn't take near as much time with myself this go around.  Didn't dress up, had a baseball cap on and half the make-up I did the previous night.  I resolved with myself that I would not speak unless spoken to and I was just along for the ride and day out of the house.

Off we went, for another hour plus drive and again in silence.  I just listened to the radio and looked out the window.  I hadn't been up the Skalkaho Highway this far and was admiring the beauty.  He stopped once, along the way, and we got out and walked around a campground a little - still mostly in silence.  We also stopped at the Skalkaho Falls for a few minutes (hadn't ever seen them and had lived here for 3 yrs), but he was still silent.  Just stood, looked at it for a few minutes and then started sauntering back over to the truck.  I followed.  Then, we went over the top and arrived at the Sapphire mining place.

For some reason, he bought 7 buckets worth of gravel.  Do you have any idea how long it takes to pick through 7 buckets of gravel?  I do.  Approximately 6 1/2 hours.  Hahaha.  And I'm not kidding!!  As time went on, he became a little more chatty and started asking questions about me (finally), but I remained true to my decision, only answered his questions and did not try to make small talk.  By the time we finished, I was starting to get hungry and we headed around to Phillipsburg and then to Missoula.  By the time we got to Missoula, I was absolutely famished.  So, we stopped at Applebee's for dinner. 

While there, we had a great discussion about both of our situations and I think we ended the dinner with a pretty good understanding of what each of us was expecting out of our time together.  I literally could see a weight lift off his shoulders and knew this is what had been burdening him straight into the inability to talk.  In some ways, I wish he would've just said something up front; but then, I wouldn't have this great story to tell, would I?

As every good story must come to an end, so must ours - at least our first couple dates story.  It ends like this.  We were married in front of Skalkaho Falls, those same falls where we had stood in silence 10 1/2 months earlier; and to this very day, he still doesn't talk too much. 

I guess maybe that's why God gave him me!!!